


Repeat Me, Again.

by bunnymatsu



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, Other, Panic Attacks, Pining Michael, Running Away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-18 21:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15495153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnymatsu/pseuds/bunnymatsu
Summary: Michael Mell can't sleep.Whenever he tries, he can only think of one phrase over and over.He needs to get away. Soon.





	1. Get Beaten Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Reinzu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reinzu/gifts).



> I'm so sorry-

11:00 PM.

Fuck, Michael doesn't know what the fuck he’s feeling right now. All he knows for sure was that whatever it is, it hurts, bad. His chest tightens, and he looks down only to realize his nails have been digging into the skin of his hands. No blood appears at the surface, but he can see the little white marks of a scratch. 

12:00 AM.

Michael is considering texting Jeremy, but he's worried about burdening him. Why would he even be awake at midnight on a Monday? He puts his phone down and curls up on his bed, pulling headphones over his ears. He knows he can't handle it, but he can't find the strength to skip the sad songs that constantly fuel his emotions.

12:30 AM.

He's searching for something now, but quickly sits down. His legs are bruised and they hurt to walk, besides he's scared of looking in his closet. Usually he's stronger than this, but tonight he can't handle it. He curls back up on his bed in defeat.

1:00 AM.

Michael is still listening to music though he doesn't want to. He wants to just get out. He wants to do something reckless, like going out and messing with strangers. He wants to get beaten up so he has the excuse to cry, but he quickly panics and shuts down these thoughts the best he knows how. 

1:47 AM.

The thoughts are repetitive.

1:48 AM.

Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.

1:50 AM.

Michael just really wants it to stop. He turns up his music, drowning out the constant urging. He gets up again, fuck his legs at this point.

1:53 AM.

Never mind, Michael needs his legs intact.

2:00 AM.

The thoughts fade, but they soon come back as something else. Michael gets up again, but remembers he hid that box from himself. He can't find it, and he wants to cry. He curls back up on his bed and tries to cry, but can't make himself. He begins to get frustrated. Why can't he just cry? And why is it that every time he does manage to, someone tries to make him stop? 

2:12 AM.

Even though no one is with him, Michael starts to look at the situation through someone else's eyes. He's just a problem for everyone. Why would anyone even want to be around him? How much would it hurt others if he just died now?

2:30 AM.

Michael Mell has officially given up on the idea of sleeping. His eyelids are heavy, but every time he attempts to sleep, his brain reminds him;  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.  
Go get beaten up, Mell.

3:16 AM.

Michael gets a call from Jeremy. At this hour? What's happening?  
His panic levels only increase, but he hides it with the facade of cheerfulness when he answers the phone.

3:30 AM.

Jeremy tells Michael that he and Christine just broke up.  
Michael doesn't know how to act. He is sad about Jeremy being sad, but he's ridiculously happy that Jeremy is single. He asks how they broke up.

3:49 AM.

Jeremy finishes the story, finally. He goes off on so many tangents that it’d painful to listen to for everyone except Michael. He's used to it. Jeremy says that he and Christine decided to be friends, but it still hurts.

Michael is trying to be polite. He's trying to sound sorry, but he isn't. That makes him feel even more like a shitty friend.

Go get beaten up, Mell.

He wants this all to stop. 

4:00 AM.

Jeremy hangs up, and Michael sets his phone down and returns to staring at the ceiling. He wants to do something, but he can't, so he just lays there. The room feels cold, but he can't bring himself to go get a blanket or anything. Maybe he deserves to be cold. 

5:36 AM.

Michael shoves his face in a pillow in a futile attempt to keep his eyes shut. He feels like he's hyper aware of his body. His arm is uncomfortable, and his eyes can't stay closed. It takes actual effort to close his eyes. He doesn't know why this is happening, he just wants to cry. He wants this to stop, but he can't. His mind is a whirlwind of repetition. 

6:32 AM.

Michael finally finds the strength to leave his room. He walks outside, and keeps going, ignoring the aching in his legs. He plays music through his headphones as he walks.

7:24 AM.

He isn't sure where he's going, but he's no longer in his neighborhood. He's in a part of town he's never seen, and it's quiet. The buildings are quiet, and the few other people that are out don't pay attention to him. 

He realizes he has no idea where he is, and he left his phone at home. He's listening to music through an MP3 player. 

He sits down, focusing on the pain in his legs. It seems to spread as he thinks about his situation. His chest tightens, and his breathing becomes more difficult.

Shit, no, he can't do this here. 

8:35 AM.

He could've asked to borrow a phone, but he kept walking instead. He's even further away from the places he knows now, and he has no idea what he's going to do. He has no phone, no money, no clothes besides the ones he was wearing, and no food.

Why did he ever think to do this? He falls to his knees on the sidewalk. 

9:30 AM.

He wants to go home. He stops by a store, and asks to use the phone. He calls his mom, but there's no answer. He hides his panic with a shaky smile as he hands the phone back to the person in the store.

He doesn't know what he's going to do out here.


	2. I Fucked Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael regrets running away like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I only made this because of one of my good friends.

Jeremy called Michael to talk about his breakup with Christine, but he didn’t disclose the real reason for it. He’d actually admitted to Christine that he liked Michael. Damn it, that girl was such a sweetheart, and she was totally understanding. Jeremy’s little phone call to his friend was really just him telling that he was single, as stupid as it was. 

The reason of the call wasn’t his center of focus anymore after it. Michael had seemed way less… Okay, than usual. The next thirty minutes or so, Jeremy spent calling his friend. His attempts proved futile after he realized Michael clearly wasn’t going to pick up. Fuck, Jeremy’s head was spinning. Hopefully his friend had just… Fallen asleep.

He preferred to avoid thinking of the alternative, anyway. 

 

~

 

10:30 AM

Michael’s legs ache more than ever, and he’s lost in an unfamiliar place. He walks a good distance away from the store he attempted to use the phone in, just sitting on a bench near a crosswalk. He feels like people are staring at him, so he keeps his eyes down. Occasionally something catches his attention, like a particularly bright shirt, or maybe a louder vehicle passing by. A few minutes later, his MP3 player dies.

 

~

 

Jeremy’s worry only grew, and he tossed and turned in the night. He decided to get up at around nine in the morning. He did the only logical thing he could really think of, grabbing his dad’s car keys and promptly going out to said car. Sure, he didn’t have a license, but he couldn't leave Michael to whatever was going on. How hard could this be? He pulled out his phone to search the address on the GPS, and then set the phone in the passenger seat as he pushed the keys in the ignition and turned them. Jeremy winced at how loud the engine seemed, he didn’t want his dad to wake up and catch him. He took a deep breath and looked around, trying to remember how his dad did this. He needed to shift gears, and he praised the lord for the fact that his dad had an automatic transmission. He pushed the gear shift out of 'park’, and into reverse in order to get out of the driveway.

It took about five minutes to figure out how to leave the driveway. Jeremy managed it anyway. He shifted the gears again, this time the setting said 'drive’. Perfect. He pushed his foot down on the gas pedal, and he was driving. Wow. He felt less scared than he thought, maybe because he knew he had control. After all, his anxiety about driving was really limited to the fear that he wouldn't be in control. Still, he needed to focus on two things at once. His friend, and the car.

 

~

11:00 AM

Michael knows that he's gotten himself into some deep shit. He doesn't know how he's going to get out of it, either. He'd call a cab or an uber if he had a phone or money, but he was really pretty much screwed. So, he continued to sit and wait, for anything. He tries his best not to cry. Now, he can't even listen to music so a panic attack is far more likely. He's going to die out here.

 

~

 

Jeremy drove to Michael's house first, knocking on the door. He saw Michael's car in the driveway, but his mom's car was gone. No answer. He knocked again, only to get the same result. Now he was really getting panicked. Fuck, was his best friend dead?

No, he couldn't accept that. Maybe he was in the seven eleven. Jeremy hopped off the porch, trying to ignore how his hands were shaking. He got back in the car, staring straight ahead as he gathered the courage to back out of another driveway and be on his way.

 

~

 

11:25 AM.

Michael knows he needs to get out of this. But how can he? He can call someone again, maybe. Yes, he decides that's his best bet, and he walks into the nearest store. A dollar store, but a very small one. He asks to use the phone with his heart dropping. This kind of interaction stresses him out quite a lot. 

The attendant can pick up on the fact that something is wrong. She agrees to Michael's request, handing the phone to him. 

Michael thanks her, feeling very grateful that he remembers his best friend's phone number by heart. He dials the numbers as quickly as he possibly can, not wasting a single second of the attendant’s time. Or at least trying not to.

 

~

 

Jeremy was panicking more when he realized Michael wasn't even at seven eleven this time. Shit, maybe he did actually lose his friend. His chest tightened, tears spilling over his eyes until he heard his phone ring. He quickly lunged for it, thankful he was sitting in the parking lot so he didn't need to pull over. The called ID didn't show any number he recognized, but he was hopeful. He answered the phone with a shaky voice. 

“Hello..?”

“....” A pause, and then a tear filled “Hey,” from Michael's voice.

Jeremy's heart does leaps when he hears it. He's so glad to hear that voice, he can't even explain. But then again, why was Michael crying? He feels elated and crushed at the same time by this whole situation.

“Michael! Holy shit. Dude, I've been- I've been looking for you! You really worried me tonight… That phone call? You weren't acting like yourself.. Where are you?”

“Yeah… um.. About that. That's actually.. Why I called. I don't know where I am.. I'm in a dollar store called um..” He presses his hand over the speaker and asks the attendant, who just takes the phone and explains the location. Michael is even more grateful for her, and grateful for Jeremy. God, why did he do any of this?

“Holy- That's far to walk, dude! I'm gonna come get you, okay? I'm in my dad's car. I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?”

The only response from Michael after that is a tiny, broken sounding, “... please?”


	3. Of Sweet Cashiers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all don't get a summary. ;(

12:00 PM.

Jeremy is fifteen minutes late already, and Michael is worried. He's grateful for the attendant at the store he's in, though. She let him use the phone in the first place. After the call, she gives him a bottle of water, free of charge. He thanks her a lot, and she just smiles and said he can wait in the break room, in the back. 

Perfect, he needs to calm himself down anyway.

He ends up being the opposite of calm. He breaks down, beginning to wonder if Jeremy is really coming to get him or not. His thoughts keep pushing, pushing, feeling like he isn't done here even though he damn well knows he's already gone far enough.

Go get beaten up, Mell.  
No, fuck off.  
The cycle repeats.

He's sure he looks like a real mess, his eyes puffy and red, and snot on his nose from sobbing. He's lucky and relieved to see a box of tissues, and he cleans up a little. 

~

Jeremy ran into a problem. Traffic. As a very, very inexperienced driver, this wasn't good. Especially not since he was in a panic over Michael. He really didn't sound okay, and why on earth was he so far from home at this hour? The call hadn't really answered those questions. Jeremy wondered if something awful had happened to him, and it broke his heart a little more. 

Car horns and constant stopping and starting were driving Jeremy absolutely up a wall. 

“Fuck! Can't we just GO?” He groaned, gripping the steering wheel tighter as he lightly pressed on the gas pedal again. He could see red and blue flashing lights, either someone had gotten pulled over or there was an accident. Either way, it sucked to be near it, especially right then. He hoped Michael stayed in the same place.

~

12:15 PM.

Michael has his face down on the table in front of him and he's shaking. He's trying hard not to cry again, but god damn it, it's hard. All he wants is to see Jeremy. He wants to go home- No, not home. He wants to go to Jeremy's house. And then, he doesn't want to talk about why he did this. He doesn't want to feel what he feels. He wants to ignore the intrusive thoughts he has, ignore the horrible impulses, ignore the pain in his bruised legs, and ignore his feelings for Jeremy. The feelings that are a little more than 'no homo’. It honestly breaks Michael's heart every time they exchange the 'I love you, no homo,’ texts. How stupid can he get?

No, he needs to shut his mind off. Just for a few minutes. Just until Jeremy comes, and then he needs it back. He needs to think of a bullshit excuse for all this, and he needs to put his happy face back on. He doesn't want Jeremy to know.

~

 

Jeremy finally got out of the jam on the highway, feeling like he'd just been through hell already. He was nervous to see Michael. He wanted to, of course, but he was nervous. What would Michael act like in this situation? Would he be broken down? What if Jeremy couldn't fix things? He didn't really know how to comfort people very well. He hoped Michael was alright, but he knew that probably wasn't the case.

Being a teenager was hard. He had to deal with a lot of shit. For him, he dealt with anxiety, mostly, and also being closeted. He was bisexual, but hadn't told a single person. Not even Michael. But right now he couldn't think about things as trivial as that. He couldn't think about how he had a stupid crush on his best friend, who may or may not be okay.

~

12:30 PM.

Michael finally lifts his head when the girl from the register before comes and lightly taps the doorframes to get his attention.

“Hey, uh, there's a guy here for you. Wasn't it Jeremy who you were on the phone with?” She asks, drumming her fingers on the doorframe as she looks at Michael for response.

He simply nods, feeling his heart pound. 

“I uh.. I can go get him if that'd help any, darlin.” The woman smiles kindly, and Michael is even more grateful. He manages to mumble a hoarse sounding 'yes please.’

 

~

Jeremy pulled up in the parking lot, debating on whether he should come in or if Michael was going to come out. He was totally over analyzing the situation, when a lady with a ponytail and a uniform walked out to his car.

“Michael's in the back room. I'm not sure if he has it in him to come out here without actually seein’ you.” The woman offered a sad smile, a sympathy smile. 

“Oh, er- Yeah. I can come in. Thank you, a lot…” Jeremy's heart pounded too, unsure how Michael was going to react to seeing him.

~

12:32 PM.

Michael seems to break out of his little trance when he sees Jeremy walk in, and he can't help himself from springing up to hug him, even if his legs hurt.

~

Jeremy walked over to Michael with the directions to the back that the woman provided.

“Hey, Mi--” Jeremy hardly had any time to get the words out before he was met with a hug. It happened so quickly that he could still hear the metal of the chair scrape against the floor. He relaxed in Michael's arms, lifting his own arms to wrap around him.

“Thank you, thank you thank you… I'm sorry..” Michael mumbled into Jeremy's shoulder.

“Sorry? What for?” 

~

This is it, Michael's emotions spill out.

“I'm sorry for everything…” He wipes a tear. “Sorry for leaving, sorry for not telling you I was gay, sorry for having a crush on my best friend, sorry for… all of it..” It doesn't sink in yet that he just completely ruined things.

~

“Wait, slow down, woah. Michael… You're gay? And you like… Me?” Jeremy stopped when he feels Michael pull away, and he felt instantly guilty when he saw the shock and terror on Michael's face. 

“Uh, no- I mean- yes, but- I'm sorry..” 

“Michael..” Jeremy hesitantly placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. 

“I'm bi, if it helps. And uh… I never told you why Christine and I broke up did I? It’s because she encouraged me to be honest with myself and focus on you… I've liked you for awhile. Even if I couldn't say it.” Jeremy felt a wave of confidence that was new to him, and he loved the feeling. 

Michael was still quiet, though. Who knew what was going on in his head right then?


	4. I Don't Believe You

“I've liked you for awhile. Even if I couldn't say it.”

Those words repeated in his head now, but it was safe to say that Michael was in no shape to believe any confessions like that. His heart wanted to believe Jeremy's words, but his brain couldn't. There was no way that Jeremy liked him, he only said that out of concern, and worst of all, pity. A dry laugh escaped him, and he shook his head, looking almost amused to cover that he was hurting. “No, you don't. You- You haven't, that's… You're not-” Michael almost started crying again right then. 

Being honest would hurt less than this. 

Jeremy's head tilted in confusion, before he understood. God, he was an idiot. There waa no way Michael was going to believe him, his timing was all wrong. How could he be so selfish? Then again, life was short. He didn't want to go through it without saying anything, and he almost thought he was going to lose Michael that day. Of course he wanted to say things he wouldn't have said otherwise. 

“I do like you. Really, Micah…” Jeremy sighed softly, knowing he couldn't say anything to make him believe that. “Let's just go back home, okay?” He fidgeted with the sleeves of the jacket he'd pulled on earlier, standing up and offering Michael his hand. Michael almost scoffed at that. He stood up without his help, not saying a word as he walked to the car. Huh. A car. Had Jeremy really taken this and risked a shitload of trouble for him? That felt a bit nice, maybe he did have hope. Jeremy followed Michael out, his eyes downcast as he thanked the employee who'd helped them, and left her ten dollars. He'd have left more, but that was all that he had in his pocket. He had five dollars in the car additionally, but wasn't thinking about that. 

A few minutes passed, and Jeremy was driving back home with Michael in the passenger seat, staring out the window. “Do you hate me?” “Huh? No, I- Of course not… I really um.. I really appreciate everything you did, Jere… You didn't have to do any of that.” “Yes I did. I wasn't going to lose you. Anyway, want to go to your house or mine?” Jeremy decided not to linger on the negative topic, because he had no clue what to ask or what to say. “Um.. Yours, if that's fine.” “It is.” Jeremy nodded, turning onto the highway again.

The drive was quiet and unbearable. The only noise was the radio that was barely on, and the hum outside the window of cars and everything else, occasional sirens and the all too common bass boosted car, the type you could hear the music in from nearly a block away. Eventually though, this ended, and Jeremy very meticulously parked the car back in his driveway. Luckily for him, his dad was still asleep. He headed inside with Michael, just wordlessly leading him to his room. When they both sat down, Jeremy just sighed. “Can't we, I don't know, talk?” “...If you want to, yeah.” “I do want to.” “Then sure.”

“Why'd you do it?” Jeremy blurted out, not processing his own words. “What?” Michael froze. “Running away. Why? Why'd you do that? You worried me sick you know..” Jeremy mumbled. “I really thought I lost you.”

Yeah, Michael thought he'd lost himself too. 

“Oh. I just… Forget it, okay? It's just teen angst or whatever.” Michael tried to lighten the mood. “That's beyond teen angst, Micah. Please talk to me. I care about you, idiot.” He nudged his shoulder, making Michael wince. “You okay?” Michael laughed, shaking his head. “No, no I'm not.” He smiled at Jeremy, seeming like he was just trying to hold himself together. That made Jeremy feel helpless, and he hated it. He didn't know what to do or say, so he kept quiet and stared ahead at the wall. 

Michael wished he'd kept his mouth shut. About everything. About being gay, about liking Jeremy, about not being okay, and overall he wished he never called anyone. He deserved to get beaten up like he thought he wanted earlier. He tried to push the thoughts from his mind, looking at Jeremy and sensing his discomfort. “I'm sorry, Jere..” Michael sighed. 

“I thought you were dead.” Jeremy spoke up after another moment of silence. “I thought I was going to lose my best friend in the whole world, and my crush. I thought you left me forever..” He wiped at his eyes, letting out a humorless laugh. “Shit, I'm sorry.” He shook his head, covering his face. Michael's heart ached for him. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..” He mumbled, hesitating before wrapping his arms tightly around Jeremy, who just sniffled and hugged him back.

“I love you. I don't care if you can't trust that.” Jeremy whispered, burying his face in Michael's shoulder. “And life is.. Too fucking short to not say that.” Michael wished he could ignore his words, but his heart was slowly filling with hope. He also considered what else Jeremy said, about life being short. He really wasn't wrong. Jeremy looked at his hands, they were shaking with the thought of what he wanted to do now. He wanted to prove that he loved Michael, however he could. And he was going to keep trying to prove it. Until Michael believed.

“You know what, Micah?” “What?” Michael hardly had time to reply, he saw Jeremy leaning in. He closed his eyes, and their lips almost touched, when there was a knock at the door. Michael's eyes shot open and he pulled back, letting out a soft sigh of disappointment. “Jeremy? I'm going to work, I'll see you later.” A yawn. Mr. Here was obviously tired, it didn't register with him that Jeremy was supposed to be at school right then. 

“Well, um, I'm glad you're safe.” Jeremy smiled, not making an attempt to continue where they'd left off. Michael forced a smile. “Me too. Thank you, Jeremy.”


	5. Night Adventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why, why why why. Why couldn't things just work? 
> 
> Well, maybe they will! Who really knows?

Jeremy Heere was just a teenager who was worried about everything, especially his closest friend. 

~

Michael Mell was just a teenager who was unsure of his purpose on Earth, and didn't understand how much he affected people.

~

9:34 PM, September 14th.

Michael is alone in his room, listening to music through his headphones. His back is pressed against the wall that his bed is adjacent to. He can't help letting his mind wander sometimes in situations like this, he thinks mostly about his friend, Jeremy. They've obviously spoken since Michael's little incident a few weeks back, but things haven't been the same. The thought makes Michael exhale a little more aggressively than he planned at first. He wants to get away and live, but this time he wants to do it with his best friend. 

Michael can't help thinking of the time when they almost kissed. Why, why why why. Why couldn't things just work? Why couldn't he just believe Jeremy when he told him that he loved him? 

No time now, he picks up his phone. He's got to text or call, they've got to go somewhere. At least for a few hours. Live a little, he thinks.

~

Jeremy heard his phone go off. It made the sound of pac man dying, and he couldn't help grinning to himself in response. “Huh.” He spoke aloud, seeing the message from Michael. 

~

P1 Mikey uwu: let's go somewhere

Dude, it's pretty late.

P1 Mikey uwu: come on, live with me. not like,,, live in a house with me, but like, enjoy life with me

Are you okay?

P1 Mikey uwu: yes. now come outside, we're going somewhere right now

Promise me you're okay and I will.

P1 Mikey uwu: k. i promise, and i'll be even better if you just come outside now

….Okay. See you in two minutes.

P1 Mikey uwu: k

~

Jeremy was slightly weirded out by the messages. Was this the same as when Michael ran away? He still couldn't get that out of his head, and he constantly worried. He pulled on some pants and shoes, giving his hair a quick check. It was messy, but he didn't really care enough to fix it right then. 

The halls were quiet as per usual, except for the roar-like snoring of his dad. That was a good sign, it meant he was far more likely to get away with this. He crept out the front door, closing it and wincing at the subtle creak it made. Outside, Michael's PT cruiser was waiting in the front. So he really was serious about this. 

Jeremy hopped into the car, buckling the seatbelt and then twisting his body a little bit to look at Michael. “Hey, Mike. So, where exactly are we going?” 

“Somewhere cool.” He shrugged, and Jeremy leaned back against the headrest with a sigh. “You better not murder me in the woods somewhere.” Jeremy rolled his eyes with a grin, and Michael laughed. “Yeah, because I'd totally do that. Right.” He started the car, shifting gears. “Hey, you never know. Lots of perfectly normal people end up becoming serial killers.” “Huh. Well, I'm pretty sure the only way I could be classified as a serial killer is if you counted my breakfast. Y'know, cereal?” With that joke, Michael started to drive down the road. “You're hilarious.” Jeremy grinned, glad the weird atmosphere had successfully been suffocated. Now the car felt warm like it should have.

The drive was filled with a more comfortable silence-- though it wasn't even silence. The radio in the car was set at a low volume, providing a comforting ambiance. Jeremy tilted his head back against the headrest again and looked out the window. Ten minutes passed, and they arrived somewhere that looked like nothing more than a field. 

“Geez, Micah. There's gotta be ticks and stuff everywhere.” Jeremy crossed his arms, flashing him a grin. “Trust me, dude. There's somewhere cool around here. Somewhere I haven't told you about.” Michael smiled, seeming enthusiastic rather than tense like he'd been a few weeks back. That was reassuring. “Ooh, that's exciting and cryptic!” Jeremy unbuckled when Michael shut the car off, and got out. Michael got out too, gesturing for Jeremy to follow him as he walked down a little path that Jeremy hadn't noticed initially. 

“Ah.. At least there's a path.” Jeremy looked around, following Michael closely and even going so far as to hold the back of his jacket. “Mhm. Told you it isn't so bad.” “Did you tell me that? Because I'm pretty sure you just said we were going somewhere cool. You didn't say anything about it not being bad.” “Don't be difficult!” Michael laughed, leading him deeper into the brush.

A bit of walking later, and they reached an old looking playground. “Look. People generally don't come out here, and it's not even that old. It's just… Abandoned.” Michael shrugged. He kind of had a thing for charming old places like that, and it was a thing that Jeremy luckily shared, though he was slightly more apprehensive. “Woah.. How'd you even find this place?” Jeremy shuffled forward, taking in the sight. “My car broke down around here once, and I found the path while looking for someplace to get signal. I got home okay, but I remembered this place and came back occasionally. It's like a secret hideout or something.” Michael explained. 

“That's really…. Cool. It's like creepy, but great.” Jeremy smiled, reaching back to hold onto Michael's jacket again. “Come on Jere, go look at it.” Michael walked with him.

There was an old gazebo with a hole in the roof and ivy growing around it, a swing set that looked as if it'd snap under a person, and best of all, one of those little metal domes with the holes in it that you could crawl through as a kid, or climb on. That, and a rusty metal slide in the corner. Ivy and weeds grew around the structures, but otherwise they weren't too dirty. The faint light of the highway in the distance just made the night scene that much more… Well, magical.

Jeremy took in the sight, inhaling a bit sharply. “Wow. So, what exactly do you do here? It doesn't look like this place is all that sturdy.” Jeremy wiggled the pole of the swings for emphasis. “Usually I sit on that dome, or in the gazebo. It's truly an experience to just come here and listen to music on full blast.” “I bet.” Jeremy looked around incredulously. “Come on, let's sit on the dome. It's more comfortable than it looks.” Michael led him to the metal dome. It had been painted red and yellow at one point, but most of the paint was faded or scratched off, exposing the metal. “It's pretty solid, so don't worry about that.” Michael explained as he climbed to the top, sitting with his knees up to his chest. Jeremy just watched for a moment. This felt otherworldly, like a scene in some teen movie. But he didn't allow himself to dwell on that, and he followed Michael in suit and sat right next to him. He held onto the bar below him, staying close to Michael for comfort. “So.. How long do you usually spend up here like this?” “Hours, man. It's nice.” “Huh. I'm not sure I could do that.”

Jeremy ended up contradicting himself that night. They stayed on that dome for hours, just talking. The night grew colder, and darker. 

“Geez it's… Later than I thought.” Jeremy murmured, checking his phone before deciding that the light from it was too bright, so he slipped it back in his pocket. “Mmhm.” Michael nodded in agreement, and Jeremy slowly leaned against his shoulder, letting his eyes fall closed. He wasn't going to sleep there, obviously, but it was comfortable. They didn't feel the need to speak, they just listened to the crickets and cicadas, and looked at the stars through the many winding tree branches. The moon was nothing but a sliver that night. Five minutes of quiet passed, and then Jeremy spoke. 

“I love you.”

Michael's heart raced. Could he believe him? In this moment, everything seemed so.. Unreal, so perfect… 

“I love you too.” 

Michael let himself say those words. They were true, no matter how true Jeremy's words were. Michael wrapped an arm around his friend and felt him shiver from the cold. But even though it was cold, they were both happy.

“Here.” Michael sat up more, making Jeremy sit up too. “You can wear this, okay?” He lifted his signature hoodie off, handing it to Jeremy. He was glad to have a long sleeved shirt under it anyway, it made him less cold. Jeremy looked at the jacket in his lap, before carefully sliding it on. “It's warm.” He grinned, leaning against Michael's shoulder once again. “Yeah. I was just wearing it, after all.” “You know, I've always wanted to wear your jacket. It was just.. So cool, and I thought it'd be comfortable too. I was totally right.” Jeremy admitted, fidgeting with the sleeves. Michael smiled, a smile that was more genuine than it had been for awhile. “I'm glad you like it, Jere.” He spoke with a slight laugh in his tone. 

“Hey, Mike?” Jeremy sat up again and looked at Michael's profile, until he turned his face to look at him too. “Hm?” “No one's here this time. Can I..” He trailed off, his face going red. Luckily, there was limited light. “Please.”

Finally, Jeremy thought. He had been thinking about this since they'd be interrupted that last time, weeks ago. Leaning in, he closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips against Michael's. It felt more right than he thought it would. 

Michael was sure that this was all a dream now. There was no way that any of this could've happened otherwise. He couldn't bring himself to care though. 

Who knew how long it would last?


End file.
